


Two Sides of the Same Coin

by Lonyn



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:57:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonyn/pseuds/Lonyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MacCready finds the Sole Survivor reminiscing about her son and husband. He tries to be the comfort that she needs, and a shoulder for her to lean on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little angsty drabble of my Sole Survivor, Ryan*Changed name*, and MacCready. Yep. I chose the annoying little shit that a lot of people seem to hate! Meh, I didn’t play FO3 so I don’t know what he was like, but what I do know is that he’s grown up in FO4 and adorable as fuck. But what gets overlooked I think is his own personal tragedies. Anyway, some angsty, late night feels. May or may not add on to this so we’ll see. Oh and spoilers for those who haven’t been through MacCready’s story yet.

When MacCready awoke he stretched to wrap his arms around the warm body that should’ve been lying next to him. She wasn’t there and he rubbed his eyes, a yawn escaping him. The darkness was still surrounding him, soft streaks of moonlight filtered through the slit in the curtain over the window. He sat up and grabbed his pants from the floor, slipping them on and shivered from the cold that touched his skin.

The acid rain was bad enough, but when it was cold, it was bone chilling these days and he rubbed his arms as he slid his hand between the gap in the door to open it. He froze when he saw her figure sitting in the chair that still sat in Shaun’s room. She was softly clutching the blanket around her form and her eyes were listless as they stared at the crib.

His heart ached for her. If there was anyone who knew what she was going through he felt he was pretty close. They both had to watch their spouses die, something he knew neither of them would truly get over, but he didn’t know what it was like to have his son taken from him. Aside from him almost being taken by a disease he had felt he was powerless to cure him from, he didn’t know what she was going through.

He felt guilty that he’d shared his problems with her. He knew that she’d do whatever she could to help him. She was selfless, he’d learned quickly, and he was selfish enough to take advantage of that and let her help him. 

But he was desperate, and he truly came to care for her. He never thought he’d fall in love again, let alone with some vault dweller who was nearly two hundred years older than him. But, god, was she incredible. She had her faults, sure, but the quiet compassion she had far outweighed her somewhat unemotional nature. She was a quiet force, one that seemed to overpower him, and he couldn’t care less that she did. He will walk to the ends of this earth for her; he’d decided that long ago at this point. He could never pay her back for helping him save Duncan. Now he was determined to reunite her with Shaun, before he reunited with his own son. He owed that, and so much more, to her.

But he didn’t know what he could do to help her in this hollow and dark moment. She looked so lost and broken, like hope was slowly slipping from her fingertips. He wished he could instill the same kind of hope she had for gathering the cure, but he knew her well enough by now that her desolate nature would not allow much room for hope. He was about to take a step when he noticed something on the windowsill beside her. The toy soldier he’d given her. She’d placed it in Shaun’s room. He knew he had to do whatever he could to save her from this moment.

He stepped closer, feet quietly padding across the floor as he knelt in front of her. She hadn’t looked at him yet; he noticed one hand was holding the blanket together up at her chest while the other was softly picking at the hem near her knees.

“Ryan,” he breathed, cupping her hand between his palms. Her fingers were freezing, her digits so cold they were numb. He rubbed his palms over her shaking limbs and brought her fingers to his lips as he covered them in his breath. Warmth began to return to them and he felt her icy grey hues upon him. He looked up to meet her gaze and warmth seemed to be returning to her features. Slowly she slid into his arms as he sat back on the floor, her nose brushing over his own cold shoulder, smelling the stale soap upon his skin as she breathed him in.

Her face settled into the crook of his neck, lips briefly pressing to his collar bone. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder to cover his bare torso with her blanket and he snaked his arms around her back. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath, but his mind hadn’t even wandered to sexual thoughts as she pressed her flesh against his. He could feel the soft beat of her heart against his chest as he rubbed her back.

He laid back against the rug on the floor as she curled up next to him, softly sighing, and he thought this was what bliss must feel like.

“Nate built the crib,” She said softly and his breath hitched a beat in his throat as his body stilled. She hadn’t talked about Nate at all aside from his death, and that was only when she thought it’d be important to helping her find Shaun. He waited, listening; if she needed to talk about him he’d let her just as she had allowed him to reminisce about Lucy. “I wanted to save the trouble and buy one… But he wouldn’t let me.”

“Sounds like he was pretty excited.” He slipped his fingers into her hair as he began to slide his fingertips along her scalp. A soft sigh escaped her and silence resumed until she let a confession slip.

“Does it make me a bad person that I wasn’t?”

“What?” He was confused.

“I hadn’t planned on ever having a kid,” She spoke softly. “It wasn’t until after I had him that I knew I loved him. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. He was mine.”

“Is. He _is_ yours. We’ll get him back.” He assured her, “I will be with you every step of the way. No matter what.”

“Thank you…” She was quiet again, her palm sliding softly up his chest before resting upon his heart which was beating a little faster. When she’d first waltzed into his life calling the shots, he didn’t know what to think of her. He needed the caps and she needed a hired gun. She had a way of saying so much in so few words and he couldn’t help but agree. She’d even swindled him down fifty caps from his original asking price, something he never did. He never imagined he’d come to care about her the way he did. When he found out her story he was amazed, albeit a little skeptical. It seemed far too incredulous that she was alive before the bombs dropped. Before the war.

On one hand he wanted to know what that world was like. On the other, he didn’t want to pine for something that could never be attainable in this world.

“He sure built a hell of a crib, Ryan,” He said. “it’s survived this long. He must’ve been something special.”

“Thank you,” Her words were soft, hollow, but she placed her hand at his jaw to tilt his head down as she pressed her lips to his. “Two sides of the same coin,” She said quietly and her breathing became more shallow as she settled her head onto his shoulder; sleep finally finding her for probably the first time tonight. He’d be sore as hell in the morning, but right now… He really didn’t care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to post my ficlets of my Sole Survivor and MacCready here! They'll probably be in no particular order, and probably take place before and after other "chapters." I've also decided to rename my SS to Ryan considering I have two other OCs who also share the name Noa*I can't help it I love this name!* So anyway, I hope this ficlet is enjoyable! It goes from funny, then angst, and some slight fluff.
> 
> *NSFW*

“I don’t think you can hit him.” Ryan said low as she and MacCready lay perched on the rooftop, peering through the scopes of their sniper rifles.

“Is that a challenge?” He asked, “You know, before your smug as—uh butt came along, I was the best shot around here.”

“I hear talking. Not shooting.” She said, still watching the Raiders through her scope. There were three lingering inside the dilapidated brick house across the river, two at the front of the bridge, and four making rounds down below. The soft glow of their fires lit the night and she waited to see if MacCready would take the bait and fire at the one who was furthest away. She liked when he felt like he impressed her, because truthfully he did. Their little rounds of ‘who can shoot farther’ were fun to her, and even though she hadn’t admitted it to him, she was very impressed by his skills.

He was grumbling low, “I’ll show you shooting,” he muttered in between incoherent words. She waited, watching the furthest Raider as he stood smoking his cigarette. A minute passed by, the breeze lightly swaying their flags; it gave them the perfect wind gauge. Five minutes passed and she heard him take in a breath. The wind stopped, pop, and bam. His bullet connected to the Raider’s skull in a brilliant fashion, his helmet flying off. MacCready shot up into the air and let out a whoop. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and she was almost like a cat who’d been spooked.

“You impressed yet?” He nearly shouted and she hurriedly grabbed him by where his jacket’s first button dipped and yanked him down to the rooftop’s floor.

“Are you trying to—” her words were cut off as she heard a familiar screech in the air and she grabbed him, rolling them away from the edge of the rooftop as an explosion rocked the building, blasting concrete and brick every which way.

She lifted up from him briefly, her chest having just been in his face, and he looked between them a moment, probably about to say something crass, when the building began to shake even more.

“Shit,” She cursed, and suddenly they were on their way down as the building began to collapse. It seemed like an eternity as the building seemingly crumbled into an avalanche of bricks, mortar, and wood. She tried to keep a hold of MacCready as the two of them became bombarded with debris and she kept her eyes squeezed shut tight as they crashed off of anything and everything.

Everything seemed to still as they finally came to a tumbling halt while they were buried in various pieces of wood and brick. Everything hurt to put it mildly and she had a hard time breathing as something was crushed against her chest. It was warm, however, and breathing, and she realized she hadn’t been separated from MacCready. Her arm was locked around his waist, her hand gripped the shoulder of his coat tightly and a split wooden beam was on his back. There was a streak of blood across his forehead near his temple and she surmised she must’ve looked just as bad.

“Mac,” She didn’t let go of him, “MacCready?” She said a little more forcefully and he groaned. She let go of the breath she was holding and relaxed a moment.

“Fucking raiders,” He cussed and then let out a frustrated grunt when he realized he slipped, “damn it!”

“We need to go,” She finally said, wincing at the sharp pain in her back.

“What? And miss out on all this fun?”

“They’re probably halfway here.”

“I’m sure they think we’re dead. They’re raiders, Ryan, they’re not thorough like you.”

“I don’t want to be here to find out.” She managed to free her leg from the awkward position it was in underneath him and she kicked at the broken beam on top of him as he pushed himself up.

“You okay?” He asked as he offered her a helping hand. He looked surprised when she took it, but she had to admit, her back hurt like hell and she needed a bit of help getting to her feet.

“Fine.” She looked around hoping their things were in the near vicinity and she found her pack not far from her rifle. MacCready had to turn a few bricks over to find his stuff, but eventually they had their things.

She immediately grew alert when a bullet zinged its way past them and she rushed him over the debris pile. She looked through the scope of her rifle as they made their way around part of a wall that was still standing, and could see that some raiders were indeed on their way to them. She leered at him and he chuckled nervously.

“Well, I guess this is a new brand of Raiders?” He said and she counted the group, finding they were all heading over here together.

One of them was beginning to light a Molotov cocktail and she scoffed. “Idiot.” She steadied her breathing and her erratic heartbeat, a few more breaths and pop. The cocktail exploded on the group and she didn’t waste time to grab MacCready as they half jogged their way down the crumbled pile of building and back onto the back alley streets of Cambridge.

She looked at the map on her pip boy and found they were only a couple blocks from the police station. At least she was on good terms with Paladin Danse. Perhaps he wouldn’t mind them crashing for the night.

“Aw,” She heard MacCready whine from behind her when he realized where she was heading. “You wanna shack up with the Brotherhood of Steel?”

“You have any other safe suggestions?”

“I don’t know. Head back to Sanctuary?” He sighed when she fixed him with that familiar glare. “Alright, alright. Too far to travel. Got it.”

“Danse isn’t so bad.”

“Hah! Can you even hear him over all that clanking?”

She ignored his quips as she turned the corner and they came to the barrier where one of them was on watch, calling out to them to halt. She slung her rifle over her shoulder and grunted when it hit her back. 

“It’s Ryan Beirne.” She responded.

“Ah, you. Yeah, go on ahead. You might want to find Paladin Danse if you’re ready to accept your way into the Brotherhood.”

“Still thinking.” She spoke and saw MacCready out the corner of her eyes waving at the Knight. She almost chuckled, but she was beginning to grow weary as they made their way inside.

Danse was out of his armor, tinkering away at it and nodded at their arrival. “You two are looking a little worse for wear.”

“Just doing our outstanding public duty of clearing out some Raider trash, Danse.”

“And demolishing buildings.” Ryan said dryly as she set her rifle down. “Is it alright if we stay the night?” She asked him.

“As long as there’s no trouble,” She watched as he mostly directed that statement at MacCready who put his hands up.

“I’m not nearly as much trouble as she is.”

“We’ll be gone in the morning,” She assured him and MacCready headed off to a room down the hallway.

“Have you given much thought to joining the Brotherhood, Ryan? We sure could use someone of your caliber.”

“I’ve got a lot to think about.” She tried to avoid the subject, but Danse seemed impossibly perceptive.

“What’s on your mind, soldier?”

She shook her head, “Some things are not up for discussion.”

“You lead a troubled life. I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for.”

She stilled at that and looked at him. Finding all she could do was nod she did just that. “Thank you.” She made her way down the hallway to find MacCready who was pulling out his bed roll.

“Getting chummy with your new pal Danse?”

“Sensing a little jealousy.” She tossed her pack down then took off her jacket.

“Hah! Jealous? Whatever.” She turned to kneel down at her pack and heard MacCready’s sudden gasp. “Whoa, Ryan, you’ve got blood all over your back!” He made his way over to her. “Why didn’t you say something?”

She shrugged and let him tug her shirt up. “Sh—ugh, you’ve got a piece of metal stuck in you. What test tube did you come out of?”

She glanced back at him and began to think everyone was apparently perceptive now though he still wasn’t close to the truth. “Can you pull it out?”

“What? Me? No. Nuh uh. Let me go get one of your Brotherhood buddies, I’m not popping that cork and bleeding you out.”

She rolled her eyes as he left the room and she followed after him into the main room. Danse was calling for Scribe Haylen and motioning her over.

“What exactly did you two get up to?” Danse asked as beckoned her over to a chair. Haylen came into the room with her bag and Ryan just shrugged once again.

“Missile launcher collapsed the building we were on top of.”

“You know, like any other normal day,” MacCready quipped, and she noticed him shifting from foot to foot, anxiously watching as Haylen lifted Ryan’s shirt to look at the wound.

“It doesn’t look too bad, but we’ll see once we get it out.” Haylen got to work and Ryan leaned over the back of the chair, only letting out soft grunts, trying to keep a straight face. She would wince ever so slightly and MacCready watched her, wondering how she could keep a mostly straight face as Haylen dug out metal from the slice in her back.

“It wasn’t a big piece of metal so it looks like it missed anything vital. Tore some muscles though, and there might be some residual nerve damage. I’ll give you a stimpak that should take care of the loss of blood and help with recovery. It looks like it’s already gone ahead and sealed the wound, but I would take it easy for now. I’ll go ahead and give you another just in case.”

“Thank you.” She said and took the bottle of purified water that Danse handed her. She went back to the room and MacCready followed after. They were in silence for a while as Ryan got her own bedroll out and laid it out on the floor. She could hear the drop of clothes as MacCready began to change and she glanced back and watched as he pulled on a loose button up shirt and a pair of sweats to sleep in. 

When she turned around and gingerly leaned back against the wall to pull her boots off she saw him sit down looking conflicted. She noticed he had begun to stare at her, a question in his eyes, several thoughts in his head. They hadn’t exactly talked about that moment in Sanctuary Hills when she was about to kiss him, then he spilled his while she kept all of hers.

“I know you’ve got your own problems, Ry. I feel like since we’ve been traveling with each other for six months now… don’t you think you can trust me with them? You’ve done so much for me and Duncan… I know I can come across as an as—well, you know, but I mean… I care about you. You can talk to me.”

She drank from her bottle of water, trying to keep her fluids up from her loss of blood. She was beginning to feel the dizzying rush of feel good juices running through her veins from the extra stimpak.

“Where did you come from?” He pressed.

“Sanctuary Hills.” She said truthfully.

“There was nothing there before.”

The silence permeated throughout the room; light clanks from Danse working on his armor down the hallway softly slid under the door. “Over two hundred years ago.”

His eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief. “What? How?”

“Vault 111 was a trap basically. When the bombs started dropping we went there. Almost immediately they ushered us into cryo tanks and put us on ice.” She put a hand to her brow, they were knitted in frustration that she was about to allow herself to let this next part come out. But she didn’t know why she trusted MacCready this much.

“My husband, Nate, was in the tank across from mine with our baby, Shaun…”

“What happened?” He began to grow worried when her breathing began to quicken. She was always so calm and collected, but she looked like she was in pain as she recounted those memories.

“I woke up, but couldn’t get out. There were people, one of them was this man… He had a scar over his left eye. They opened Nate’s pod and tried to take Shaun. He wouldn’t let them, and that man shot him…” He watched her as she twisted what he could only assume was Nate’s wedding ring on her thumb. “They took Shaun and left. I was frozen again for I don’t know how long.” MacCready watched her, horrified, and quickly made his way over to her.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” He grabbed her hands to stop their motions, and then cupped her cheek. When she looked up at him her smoky hues were filled with so much pain. It was slow, but he leaned in, his lips finding hers, finally for the first time. MacCready could feel the pounding in his chest as if it was sounding inside his head. When she let out a soft sigh and settled her lips back against his he let go of his doubts about her. He cared about her, and he knew in her own way she cared about him. She wouldn’t have gone out of her way to help him the way she had.

He let go of her hand and leaned into her, kissing her like—he let those thoughts vacate his mind, briefly wondering if she was also thinking of her husband. He sat on the floor and she straddled his lap. Heat surrounded them in the cold room and he pulled her shirt over her head, letting out a gasp when she rolled her hips into his. She panted, letting her head fall back as he kissed down her neck, grabbing her hips and digging his fingers into her ample rear. The thought of her in one of those skin tight vault suits aroused him more than he’d like to admit, but he found her lips again with his, slipping his tongue inside her mouth.

He felt her tug his own shirt off, the cold touching his skin momentarily then replaced by her scalding fingertips dancing across his skin. He was on fire, so was she, and he fumbled with the clasp of her bra as he took that off her as well.

Ryan let out a sigh, biting her lower lip when his thumb ghosted across her nipple. When she woke up from her sleep it hadn’t felt like she’d been gone that long, but her body had said otherwise. She wasn’t the type to seek out one night stands, especially not in this wasteland; though she considered herself quite sexual, she didn’t like having sex with men she didn’t know. She’d been attracted to MacCready ever since she realized how easily she could rile him up. 

There was something about him, and when he’d finally spilled his own secrets to her, she realized why she’d been attracted to him in the first place. There was that sadness that exuded from him despite his carefree attitude. It was easy to be in his presence when they shared the same trauma; even if they hadn’t known it from the start.

She ached for him, wanted to feel someone’s hands other than her own on her body. She pressed herself closer to him, feeling his hardened length between her legs. She sucked on his lower lip and he groaned when she rocked against him again.

A thought suddenly struck him, and he couldn’t help that he needed to ask this question. “Ryan,” He breathed, barely able to catch his breath, “who was the last person you had sex with?” She didn’t still like he had expected her to.

“It doesn’t matter,” She said evasively, her fingers running through his hair.

“Was it… Him?” When she said nothing else, just continued to suck at the pulse point in his neck he knew it was him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ryan—”

“Yes, Mac,” She placed her hands on either side of his jaw, looking into his eyes with her own lazy smoke stained hues. “Please. It’s not about them.” He could see the lie; it’d always be about Nate and Lucy for the two of them, but for the moment, this moment, they could pretend that it wasn’t about covering up the pain.

She slipped her hand down his pants and when she touched him he let out a loud groan and she covered his mouth with hers. He grabbed her thighs and laid them back into her bedroll and pulled her pants and underwear off her mile-long legs. He looked her over in the dim light, barely able to see her, but feeling just how beautiful her body was against his. He pushed up, the tense heat taking him over as he stripped the rest of his clothes off. She pulled him down to her and kissed him, urging him along as if he had any reservations left.

They were already in too deep, far too deep, and he slid himself inside of her, relishing in the sharp sigh that left her lips ghosting across his. He couldn’t keep a slow pace, sliding in and out of her, feeling her clench around his shaft which nearly caused him to lose it. She was beginning to breathe harder, biting her lip when they broke their kissing.  
Quiet groans escaped them as they both tried to stay quiet, her strong fingers digging into his shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his back pulling him closer as she rolled her hips in rhythm with his. He was almost there as he slipped his hand between their heated bodies, sliding his finger against that spot which almost caused her to shout. He could feel her tense, her legs locking around his waist and held him in place. He gasped at the sudden stop, grinding his hips into hers as he nearly growled into her neck. He felt her walls clenching around him and he saw white against his vision as he shuddered over top of her, listening to her sighs and breathy gasps next to his ear.

He relaxed against her as they came down from their high, her legs loosening as he slid out of her, lying on his side so they could both lie on her bedroll as she turned to face him. She settled her lips between his collar bone and up the column of his throat as she made her way over his jaw. He let his hand slide down her waist, over her back where he massaged his hand lightly against her tender flesh.

For a while they were lying in silence as she lazily nipped his neck and he felt the hazy glow seeping over him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that your son was still out there?” He nearly whispered and she stopped her playful kissing.

“I didn’t want to bother anyone.” She responded in the simplest way she knew to explain why she kept it a secret rather than being truthful that she just didn’t want to be anyone’s pity party. It was why she refused Piper’s interview. No one needed to know her business to that degree.

“Really? How could you put my problems above your own?”

“Your son was dying. For all I know Shaun is gone.” She said, though she wouldn’t stop looking for him until she knew for sure.

“Don’t say that.” He kissed her lips and hugged her to his chest. “He’s out there.” She softly smiled and he could see it as the pale moonlight filtered through the torn curtains. “What?” He smiled back.

“Thank you.”

“After what you’ve done for me and Duncan, Ryan, I can’t begin to… I just…”

She wrapped her arms around his neck planting another kiss to his lips. “I wanted to help. I didn’t want anything in return.”

He shook his head. “You are rare; you know that right?”

Smiling again, she dipped her head. “Stop,” She settled her lips onto his. “I’m terrible.”

“You are definitely also terrible,” He chuckled, “but we both are. Maybe if we… If we stick together, we’ll be okay.”

“That’s the plan then.”

He felt relief wash over him that she wanted to stick with him. He didn’t imagine that the woman who came into that room and quietly persuaded him to take her up on her missions would turn out to be someone he…

He shook his head and kissed her back, running his fingers through her hair which had finally fallen from its tie. For the first time since Lucy, he felt something more for another woman. He didn’t want to let it go. He didn’t want to let _her_ go.


End file.
